Sarah: A Mother's Heartsong

Proverbs twenty three twenty five

May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!

Helen is one of my best friends and shares the cry of her heart for a daughter. Lovingly and faithfully God stood with Helen through the darkness and blessed her with a preious miracle. She named her Sarah.

Sarah: A Mother's Heartsong

Why is it that sometimes we let ourselves live in a deep dark hole? And to make matters worse why are we the ones who dig it in the first place. I was living in one. Before I even knew it, I had dug my hole and was stuck in darkness silently crying out for help. That’s when He found me or perhaps when I finally found Him. God’s plan for us it not to live in darkness but to live in light, His light.

God didn’t just yank me out though. He helped me climb up and then out, one step at a time. You see for me, it was a journey of trust, “Trust your God with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding in all your way acknowledge Him and He will lead your paths straight.” proverbs 3:4-6

It was after the birth of my third son that I began digging my hole. Although I loved my family more than anything, my heart longed for a daughter. I’m not sure why, perhaps it was God’s way of telling me that I was not finished having children. My head thought it was, but my heart knew otherwise. God had a plan for me and my family to add one more member and in His glorious way led me to see His majesty and power.

Although I believed in God all my life, I did not come to know Jesus Christ until I had attended an ALPHA program that was being offered at our local church. I had given my life, my heart, my dreams, my plans and all that I was to Jesus right there and then. I wanted only His will in my life whether I liked it or not. And so in crying out to God, He started to speak to me. He spoke to me through His word, through His creation and through visions.

He gave me a vision of my children, my wonderful boys and my sweet daughter. But wait, I didn’t have a daughter. What did it mean? Maybe I made it up in my mind, I wasn’t sure. It was hard to imagine that the creator of the world was actually speaking and revealing Himself to me and I struggled with knowing what to do. However, God in his loving and caring ways continued to speak and I continued to listen. He spoke so clearly at times that it became unmistakeable what I was to do. But I was still afraid.

In my twenties and early thirties, I had struggled to have my children, they did not come easily. It would be years of trying and 2 miscarriages later that I conceived and gave birth to my precious sons. I knew it would be very difficult to conceive at 40.

After 5 years of intensely reading God’s word, praying (on my knees and with my sisters in Christ), fasting, giving God control, and just plain old believing, I jumped off the cliff in faith. I needed to trust God not only with my death, but also with my life.

Sarah was born December 10, 2008. God really was speaking to me and I wasn’t just imagining it. My husband and I had decided to try and conceive just once and leave the rest up to God. God in His miraculous way made the impossible happen. I believe He was waiting for me to trust Him completely and I thank Him with all my heart for His grace and His love, my God who allows me (a sinner) to be in His presence.

I urge you not to live in your dark hole. Look up, for our Lord Jesus is waiting patiently for you. He is wiping every tear that you cry and is calling out your name. I know from personal experience that God can handle anything that you are willing to give Him. Just trust Him, for He is speaking right now to you.

John sixteen twenty one

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.”